I Didn't Mean It
by hadesgirl015
Summary: When people fight, they sometimes say things that they didn't mean to in the heat of the moment. But Ezra soon realizes, that you can't take words back. "Just like I don't need you." He couldn't be more wrong.


I guess this is sort of what I think was going on in Ezra's head near the end of "Steps into Shadow"

Ezra had just watched as Rex, Sabine, Zeb and Chopper flew off with the stolen bombers with a smirk. His plan had succeeded. Almost.

As he rushed back to the Phantom the junk yard station had started to fall apart with him still on it.

"Whoa," he exclaimed when the station shook and he fell off the walkway, narrowly landing on the edge several feet down.

He watched in horror as a falling light beam knocked the Phantom loose from the underside of the walkway, letting it fall into the storm below. The storm just had to over kill it by striking it with lightning, causing it to explode.

"I'm in trouble too." Ezra muttered with fear in his voice.

The station started to fall. Ezra managed to climb back on the walkway, before desperately trying to contact Sabine on the comm.

"This is wrong. It's all gone wrong." Ezra said to himself. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

The engine keeping the station afloat exploded some more.

"Kanan, where are you?" Ezra asked dejectedly.

Ezra suddenly remembered. His fight with Kanan he had earlier. 'Just like I don't need you.' Had he really said that?

Ezra held onto the station for dear life as it feel faster through the clouds.

'Why did I say that?' Ezra thought. 'I didn't mean it. Please Kanan, I do need you. Please help me.'

' _Ezra, I'm here._ '

That sounded like Kanan. But maybe it was just wishful thinking. Kanan probably hates him know. After all, he was using the Sith holocron and the Dark Side, the very thing Jedi were supposed to fight against.

'Please Kanan, I promise, I'll never use the dark side again.' Ezra begged, knowing very well that his Master couldn't hear him. 'Just save me. I need you. I've always needed you and always will.'

Through the hollowing wind Ezra heard a voice calling out to him. "Ezra, I'm right here."

"Kanan!" Ezra called, looking to where he heard his master. He could just barely see him with all the wind and clouds. He couldn't believe it. He did come for him. He tried to reach for Kanan's out stretched hand. "I can't reach you, it's too far."

"It's okay, I've got you." Kanan promised. "Go ahead, let go."

Ezra closed his eyes. He let go of the station and flew up slightly as he started to free fall away from it. He tried to reach for Kanan, as he knew Kanan couldn't change the direction of his arm to where he was, since he couldn't see.

But Ezra was too high up. When suddenly Kanan's arm shot up and grabbed hold of his arm. He pulled Ezra into the Ghost, shutting the airlock behind him.

The two fell to the floor.

"Got him." Kanan called on the comm.

"I'm sorry." Ezra cried, tears coming to his eyes. "I didn't mean it. I do need you Kanan." He reached out and tightly hugged the man.

"I know," Kanan replied softly, returning the hug, sending soothing waves through the Force.

Ezra took in his Master's presence, relishing in it after his master had been away for so long.

After they arrived back at the base Hera lectured Ezra about the mission. He understood completely why she basically grounded him.

Shortly after Kanan and Ezra walked off a bit from camp to talk alone.

"I should have told you I was using the Sith Holocron." Ezra admitted. "I wanted to believe it could help us."

"We don't need that thing." Kanan responded, 'looking' straight ahead. It slightly bothered Ezra that Kanan couldn't meet his gaze. "We'll find another way."

"What did you do with it anyway?" Ezra asked, just in case.

"It's safe," Kanan replied, as he walked over and placed a hand on Ezra's shoulder. He started to walk off.

"Oh, one more thing." Ezra called after him. "I wanted to thank you for coming back." He knew perfectly well that Kanan didn't have to, especially after what he had said and done.

"I'll always come back." Kanan promised.

"I know," Ezra smiled, with the peace of mind that nothing he could possibly do could ever keep his master from coming to his rescue when he needed him most.


End file.
